


These Hearts After Dark

by pidgy_writes



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Affection, Alternate Universe - High School, Boys Kissing, Childhood friendship to love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Halloween, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Nostalgia, POV Alternating, Sentimental, Swearing, Tears, Teen Angst, did i mention the teen angst?, is it too sweet?, it's a bit sad but mostly sweet, maybe????
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 06:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8390851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgy_writes/pseuds/pidgy_writes
Summary: “Run away with me…” strong arms closed around him tighter still, as though afraid he would slip away somehow.“For now, or forever?” Hux tried to laugh, but it only pushed his own tears closer to the surface.“I wish it could be forever…” Ben buried his face into the short hair behind his ear, warm breath tingling on his exposed neck, “but i’ll settle for tonight.”-----Ben Solo and Armitage Hux have been keeping their friendship a secret from their parents for years; so when Ben lets their secret slip, the two boys know that this Halloween might be their last night together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CountOfEight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountOfEight/gifts).



> Hey everybody! (-^ v ^-) a very happy Halloween to you all! though~ i hope people will be able to enjoy this story even once the day itself has passed! I just first wanted to say a huge thank you to my dear friend GC (@gentleman-caller on Tumblr) for all her help! Without your support and encouragement, i'd have never been able to accomplish this! you are a dear! all my love and hugs to you! And also to @space-emos on Tumblr, for being kind enough to let me use her brilliant line from this comic (http://space-emos.tumblr.com/post/139723753451/more-cheesy-high-school-au-nothing-says-romance) because, in all seriousness, it's the entire reason i'm a part of this fandom and i can't stress enough what amazing part of my life it has become! so thank you SE *HUGS*
> 
> And so now... i dedicate this piece - in all of it's fluffy/angsty/sentimental glory - to my dear, dear friend Eight (@countofeight on Tumblr) because it was all of our talks about sharing Halloween candy and building pillow nests that created the spark that became this piece! (^ v ^) Without all of your affection and all of your kindness i'd have never felt brave enough or passionate enough to try to write something! so, thank you from the bottom of my fluffy, sparkly, snuggly heart!
> 
> Oh! lastly, if you've arrived here through any means that are not Tumblr, you can find me there at @pidgy-draws! all of my art and posts related to this piece will be tagged "THAD" as new parts are added! thank you, and so much love! (^ O ^)

In the town where Armitage Hux and Ben Solo grew up, the weather on Halloween night could never be relied upon to make advanced planning of one’s costume a simple task. On balmy years you could go Chippendales-chic and spend all night shirtless in just a bowtie and cuffs, pass out drunk in your friends back yard, and never even get the sniffles. Other years, it was prudent to plan a jacket into your ensemble; Van Hellsing in a snug black leather duster, perhaps? And both boys could recall at least a handful of years where they had trudged door-to-door - driven by the all-consuming need for free candy - despite biting winds and swirling snow.

“I can’t believe Luke’s going to take Rey out trick-or-treating this year.” Ben’s mother, Leia, sighed aloud as she stared out at the inky autumn sky, not really expecting a response, “It’s barely going to get above zero.”

The warmth rising up from the sink, where she was swirling soapy dish water round the dinner plates, seemed to fog up the windows in a silent kind of agreement. Ben sat mutely at the kitchen island, his textbooks opened dutifully before him as he ignoring his mother’s musings. He didn’t care one bit what the weather would be like, he considered Halloween to be his night; it could rain fire for all he cared, he’d still be going out. Though, his mother had other plans, of course. She hadn’t minced words one bit when she’d warned him that she would lock him in his room come the thirty-first if he didn’t pass the test he had coming up in history. And though he had rolled his eyes at her at the time, he knew his mother never made empty threats.

Pencil hovering over his notebook, Ben was poised to write something if his mother turned around, but his left hand was on his phone, open to a conversation with a contact listed as: Ginger Snaps.

[ Ginger Snaps: I’m not making any plans for Halloween this far in advance. If I do, I feel like my father will find some way to read my mind and come up with a reason to make me stay home. ]  
[ fuck if your dad was my dad id have stabbed him and thrown him off a bridge by now ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: Yes, well, I can’t very well stab the man who’s going to pay for University. Especially not right after he bought me a car. ]  
[ fuck i hate you ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: I hate you too. Now stop fucking around and study. I’m not sewing you this fucking costume just so you can sit at home all night. ]  
[ thanks mom your the best ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: you’re** ]  
[ fuck you ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: Fuck you. And if you fail, I’m going to burn your Breakfast Club soundtrack you left in my car. ]  
[ NOT MY VINYL ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: Don’t you forget about me. ]  
[ good bye satin >  
[ Ginger Snaps: Oh? You finally getting rid of those cheesy black bed sheets you got at Bed Bath & Beyond? ]  
[ SATAN ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: ;) ]

 

\-----

 

[ bête noire: SATAN ]  
[ ;) ]

Hux was smirking to himself as he typed away on his phone; Ben was so easy to rile up that it never failed to amuse him. He sighed, for the moment feeling victorious in their never ending verbal game; but his smile bled away slowly as he stared at Ben’s assigned screen name: bête noire. He let out a long breath through his nose as a ripple of irritation ran through him. He couldn’t even list his best friend’s name in his phone. Normally it didn’t bother him, but from time to time, he couldn’t help but feel stung by the fact that their parents would both flip out if they knew they were talking to one another. Even worse, conspiring to meet up outside of school time. Families like the Hux’s and the Solo’s “just don’t mix” his father had said to him many time, in a choice of words and tone which had always made Hux’s stomach turn.

He threw his phone against his bed with the closest thing to violence he dared commit against it and he turned his attention back to the long swaths of thick, black fabric pooled on his desk. Millicent had taken up the warm spot on his chair when he’d began pacing around his room as he typed and she was eyeing a long, dangling strand of thread with devious intent. Hux gathered the purring ball of orange fluff into his arms and she swatted at his bangs playfully, dislodging a small black feather that had secretly take up residence there. It fluttered to the ground and she jumped after it, pawing at it with lethal intent. Picking up his needle and thread again, Hux returned to work stitching soft, messy tangles of black feathers along the collar of Ben’s costume.

Before her death, Hux’s mother had always sewn his Halloween costumes for him despite his father’s protests that it was a “silly waste of time”. They could have bought Hux whatever costume he’d wanted ten times over, but there was something about his mother’s costumes that had always felt magical and made Halloween feel like the most important night of the year. As he got closer to adulthood, Hux’s father liked to believe that it was his business acumen and a structured upbringing which had fostered Hux’s goal to study civil engineering, but Hux knew it was his mother’s eye for detail and her love for intricate patterns. These days, despite knowing that he’d inherited his father’s humorless glare and demand for perfection, he secretly knew he also harboured his mother’s sentimental feelings towards doing things himself. So when Ben had asked him if he might consider sewing his costume this year (although Hux had been sure to give him a dramatically hard time about it) he was secretly elated. Not that he’d ever tell Ben...

 

\-----

 

When he had appeased his mother with a satisfactory C+ on his history test, Ben escaped being locked up in the tower for the duration of Samhain. At school on Halloween morning Hux had been his usual asshole self and lead Ben into believe that he had never had any faith in his ability to pass his test and thus he had never bothered making Ben’s costume at all (which, in truth, he’d begun back in July). It wasn’t until he’d been insisting that he didn’t care - scrunching up his nose bridge and scowling in that deep, reclusive way which Hux knew meant the onset of tears - that he had relented in his teasing and given Ben the, surprisingly heavy, box containing his outfit.

“But don’t open it until you get home!” Hux had insisted, “I don’t want feather bits all over! They’re a fucking nightmare to clean up!” Ben had agreed, despite his eagerness to look inside, but he knew Hux was really only concerned about drawing attention to his work. For as much as Hux carried himself like a self-important asshole, he was never the sort to point out his own accomplishments. And in Ben’s eyes, Hux’s accomplishments were always ten tiers above what mere mortals could hope to achieve. He, on the other hand - though far smarter and more capable than he let on - was constantly held back by his angsty teenage compulsion to underachieve. Still, Hux never looked at him like he was defined by his grades, his attendance record, or his black eyeliner; to Ben, Hux just saw him as himself and not as his extensive list of faults.

Why had they even become friends in the first place? He remembered how they met… he had a scar to show for it… but how had they become friends? Ben had started thinking about it as he daydreamed his way through third period, from there, somehow, the rest of the school day had melted away and he was home in his room before he knew it.

“Ben! Sweetheart! Are you going to eat something before you go out?” his mother yelled up at him from the bottom of the stairs.

“No! I’m meeting up with Hu~Ginger before we go over to Phasma’s!”

“Is she coming by the house?”

Ben’s mother had caught enough glimpses over his shoulder at his text exchanges with “Ginger Snaps” that she’d come to assume that it must be his girlfriend and Ben had never bothered to correct her. A small, silent chuckle lifted in his chest at the idea of his mother opening up the front door and seeing Armitage Hux, son of “the devil himself”, standing on her steps.

“No, we’re meeting up.” he stepped out of his bedroom door slightly, catching her line of sight so she would stop shouting.

“Well… you should invite her over for dinner one night.” she smiled up at him, trying to look encouraging, “Your father would love to meet some of your friends.”

“Dad’s never even home, mom.” he groaned, rolling his eyes at the mention of his father as he twisted away from her quickly, shutting his door behind him a little bit harder than he’d have liked.

[ Ginger Snaps: I told my dad I’m sleeping over at Mitaka’s. Should I come pick you up soon? ]  
[ fuck i fucking hate mitaka you sure hes really gonna cover for you ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: Of course. He’d do anything I asked, let’s be real. ]  
[ yeah your probably right but dont pick me up here just meet me at the park ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: you’re** ]  
[ fuck you ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: Fuck you. I’ll be there at 7. Bring your make up. ]  
[ i don’t have make up i have eyeline ]  
[ Ginger Snaps: Whatever. Just bring it, you fucking edgelord. ]

Ben made a disgruntled sound in the back of his throat at Hux’s sass, but he smirked a little too. Normally when people insulted him or belittled him it made him furious, depressed, or some fucked up amalgam of the two which Hux always rolled his eyes at him about (before then helping him get over it). Ben should have wanted to punch him in the face just for making stupid jokes like that, but for some reason, Hux always knew exactly the things to say or do that made Ben feel like they were the only two sane people left in the world; as though, between the two of them, they’d be able to conquer the world. If only they really gave a fuck.

He felt a swelling in his heart as he turned his attention again to the box containing Hux’s costume for him. He bit down on his tongue in anticipation and pulled up on the lid, which was agonizingly slow to release itself from it’s lower half. Ben had said he wanted to go as a raven, “But like… a cool raven. You know, really dark and badass?” he couldn’t even imagine himself what the fuck that meant, but Hux had just nodded at him and said “Okay.” with no further request for input.

When the lid finally released it was little surprise that the box had been so heavy, Ben was looking down at thick, folded layers of beautiful, black wool tweed. He didn’t know that’s what it was of course, but he marveled at the way the fabric was woven to look like it was deliberately imperfect, the surface of it feeling bumpy and raw and yet warm and soft. He took care as he lifted it out of the box and the layers continued to unwrap themselves revealing a long, heavy, wool cloak with a smooth, black satin lining. It could get down to minus ten and he was certain the cold would never touch him in this. Coming unfurled from their hiding place inside the myriad of folds were the feather details and the wide, cascading hood. Ben couldn’t even begin to imagine just how much this fabric must have cost, but he knew Hux wouldn’t have even stopped to think twice about it. He pulled the cloak around his shoulders, fastening the brushed pewter clasp tightly. The weight of it on his body felt amazing and it took him some time to adjust it around himself before he pulled up the hood. It was delightfully over-sized, accommodating to being pulled down low over his eyes and the waves of his dark brown hair.

Ben’s heart was thumping in his chest he was so elated. He wrapped his arms around himself and reached up to feel the thick feathers adorning his shoulders. Cascading epaulettes of glossy, black feathers consumed his broad frame and were adorned with little bits and bobs of silver and clear glass beads - just the sorts of things one would imagine a raven liking. He wanted to scream he liked it so much. He wished he never had to take it off. A few turns in the mirror had him admiring how it swirled around his body, but it also showed off just how silly his casual clothes looked beneath it. He excitedly returned to the box to find a sleeveless black shirt with a high collar and a pair of black jodhpurs that would perfectly suit the bird-like imagery of the outfit and his long, lean legs.

He reluctantly removed the cloak and pulled on the rest of the outfit. Hux had taken his measurements three times before beginning and at the time Ben had complained about having to hold still for so long, but now he understood why. The costume fit him perfectly in every sense; he felt quite proud of the way his chest look in the form fitting top, and the pants - though not a style he’d have ever picked out himself - suited the look perfectly. Pulling his cloak back on he felt like a king. He completed the outfit with his most gaudy, knee-high leather boots; a pair adorned with more buckles and hooks than could ever possibly be necessary. He stood in the mirror admiring his outfit, feeling more alive and himself than he could ever remember feeling before.

“Kylo Ren, the Raven King.” Ben pronounced himself, feeling entirely too smug, before laughing openly at his own ridiculousness.

The ringing of his phone snapped him back to reality suddenly and he scrambled to answer it.

“Dude! Where are you, it’s 7:05.” It was Hux, sounding thoroughly annoyed; if there was one thing in the world that Hux wouldn’t abide, it was lateness.

“Fuck! I’m sorry! I’m coming right now! Just, wait there!” Ben apologized hurriedly, hanging up before Hux could nag him further. Finding that his costume’s pants had pockets, Ben stuffed his phone, wallet, keys, and eyeliner into them before jamming as many of his black and silver bracelets and spiked cuffs onto his arms as he could fit while still being able to bend his wrists.

Dashing down the stairs Ben’s mother gasped audibly at the sight of her son’s grandiose attire.

“Ben! Your outfit is amazing! Where’d you get it!?”

He swept past her without stopping to let her admire him.

“Hux made it.” he brushed off her question impatiently, reaching for the door, in no mood for an interrogation about it.

“What?” her voice dropped suddenly, sounding positively gobsmacked, “Hux? Armitage Hux?”

“Fuck.” Ben cursed himself under his breath with a sharp seething sound through his teeth. “Yes. Armitage. I have to go, he’s waiting.” What a time to fuck that up. The cat was out of the bag now, and he threw open the door and dashed down the front steps.

“Ben Solo! What are you doing hanging around with that boy!?” His mother shouted at him from the top of the stairs as he marched off down the driveway. She didn’t pursue him, but he could feel her stare boring into him, “You had better be home by midnight, young man!” He didn’t turn or reply, and her only response was to shut the door sharply.


	2. Chapter 2

Hux sat on the cold cement parking chock next to his car and sighed audibly. He’d have wandered deeper into the park but it was already overrun with twelfth graders setting off firecrackers and screaming like drunken banshees. He was beginning to regret his choice of legwear as the cold, hard, surface beneath his (admittedly bony) ass drew any semblance of warmth strait through the thin, form fitting fabric of his leggings. His coat and boots were warm however, and so instead of worrying about it he just cursed Ben for his lateness instead.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he slipped it out with a little difficulty as it’s smooth surface slipped through the soft fabric of his groves.

[ bête noire: i fucked up ]  
[ What else is new? ]  
[ bête noire: hahahaha no seriously i fucked up and told my mom i was going to meet you ]

Hux pinched his nose bridge and breathed deeply. “Fuck.” He sighed. He could only wonder in mild horror if Ben’s mother was already on the phone with his father, chewing him out for letting his bastard son near her boy. An initial flood of dread washed over him but his phone buzzed again and his thoughts went back to Ben; the fallout could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, they were already together, so they might as well enjoy it. It might be the last time.

[ bête noire: im sorry hux i really am ]  
[ Don’t worry about it. Just get here. My ass is freezing! ]

 

\-----

 

[ Ginger Snaps: Don’t worry about it. Just get here. My ass is freezing! ]  
[ your ass is always freezing ]

Ben closed his messenger and glanced at the temperature reading on his phone. Eight degrees above freezing. He smiled to himself and pulled at the soft lining of his cloak; it made him feel invincible against the cold.

“About time!” Hux shouted at him as he finally crossed to street into the parking lot at the edge of the park. The sun had already set just after five-o’clock that night and Hux cast a long, dark shadow sitting at the edge of a golden pool of lamppost light.

“I’m sorry! I was…” his words evaporated from his tongue as he walked up to Hux, his heavy footfalls slowing as his red-headed friend rose to his feet, brushing off his backside. He looked… good. Really good.

Hux’s jacket was a vaguely military style, double breasted with large silver buttons running down each side of his torso, the fabric the same black tweed as Ben’s cloak. It hugged tightly to his narrow frame and his long, lean arms, argyll cuffs and pocket flaps making him look needlessly sharp and well dressed. Typical Hux. However, his coat strayed from the military styling by featuring a wide hood with a thick, black fur trim that framed the pale skin of his freckle-dappled face and made the fringe of his deep red hair look like fire in the yellow glow of the streetlight. Perched atop his hood were two wide, pointed cat ears that made his jacket look decidedly “cute”; there was just no other word for it. Skin tight black leggings and knee high black leather boots - in a considerably more contemporary and stylish design that Ben’s own - completed the look.

“Do you have a tail too, pussycat?” Ben laughed at him, his voice falling out of him in a slightly higher pitch than he’d have liked.

“Well of course! What kind of cat would I be otherwise?” Hux turned and wiggled his hips, laughing slightly through his nose, as his fluffy black tail swung back and forth. The bottom of Ben’s stomach fell out and he took a deep breath, rolling his eyes quickly away. It wasn’t butterflies, he was just really hungry.

“I hope that all fits you right?” Hux turned back to him and stepped into his personal space to examine the way Ben’s cloak hung from his shoulders.

“It’s amazing. I feel amazing! Forget engeneering, you should be a fashion designer.” Ben chuckled as Hux looked at him haughtily, shaking his head. He never took praise well.

Hux’s gloved hands slipped boldly beneath the flaps of his cloak and pushed it open, grabbing at Ben’s sides and inspecting the fit of his shirt and pants. Ben held up his arms helpfully, but he averted his eyes from Hux’s face; the other boys touch felt slightly cold within the warm cocoon of his cloak and he did his best not to squirm when the brush of Hux’s fingers tickled his ribs.

“Well, huzza.” Hux declared, “Good job, self.” He gave himself a pat on both shoulders as he stepped back, evidently pleased with his handiwork.

“I love it, Hux, I really do. It’s fucking badass.” Ben tried his best to pack as much sincerity into his words as he could.

It was Hux’s turn to avert his eyes as he shrugged, tugging at his hood dismissively.

“Well! You’re not done yet!” his bright, ocean green eyes snapped back to Ben’s suddenly, “You did bring your makeup, right?”

“Eyeliner. And yes.” Ben dug into his pockets and fished out the plastic pencil. It was the sort you had to twist to push the core up; he hated sharpening eyeliner pencils, it was always a huge fucking mess.

“That’ll do.” Hux nodded, taking it from him, “Come stand over here.” He pulled Ben by the hand into the center of the golden pool of streetlight. Hux slipped off his gloves and pushed them into his pocket unceremoniously. Reaching up, he tipped Ben’s chin up into the light and the slightly taller, dark haired boy couldn’t keep himself from blushing when a tiny, involuntary, sound escaped him at the touch of Hux’s warm fingers on his face.

“Close your eyes, idiot.” Hux scoffed at him with a quiet laugh as Ben squinted against the bright light. He obeyed reluctantly, shutting out the sight of the cold white swirls of their breath mingling between their faces as Hux leaned into him. The light was bright, sure, but he wanted to watch the excessively serious look of concentration on Hux’s face as he held the pencil up to draw on him. His chest felt tight as Hux’s left hand slid down the line of his jaw, long, thin fingers tucking behind his ear to steady himself, his thumb nestled next to the corner of Ben’s mouth.

Unable to resist a childish gesture, Ben flicked out his tongue to touch the edge of Hux’s thumb. “You ass!” Hux chided him through an audible grin, rapping him on the forehead with his eyeliner. “Hold still or I’m gonna fuck this up.”

“I trust you.” Ben smiled, feeling himself girn harder than he intended.

Hux set to work and Ben did his best not to flinch or move as Hux began to decorate his face with long, quick strokes of pencil. He filled in wide swaths all inside his eye sockets, from his lower lid all the way up to his eyebrows, gently fanning out the color under his eyes down into his cheeks with soft sweeping motions of his fingers. Hux moved incredibly surely, and Ben thought for a moment about how he never questioned anything Hux did, always trusting implicitly that he would never do wrong by him. For some reason, it had always been that way.

He couldn’t help but twitch his nose as Hux drew long, straight lines down his nose bridge and fanned the color down the side, keep the center area sharply uncolored. He didn’t know how long has passed, but he felt a great loss when Hux finally removed his hands and stepped back from him.

“Well. I’d say that will do.” Hux nodded at him, gesturing for Ben to inspect his handiwork in the reflections on his car window. Ben stepped up to the glass and look at himself, his eyes now decorated with pools of black, winged with soft strokes down his cheeks; the hard lines sweeping between his eyebrows and down the line of his nose, using the paleness of his skin to give the impression of the lines of a bird’s beak.

“Fuck,” Ben grinned despite himself, “it’s perfect! Thank you! What did i ever do for Halloween before now!?”

“Skeleton sweaters and thrift store garbage like the rest of the plebs.” Hux chuckled at him, crossing his arms across his chest and looking quite proud of himself.

“Well, never again!” Ben laughed, turning around to clap his wide hands onto Hux’s narrow shoulders, “You’ll make sure I never dress like a Halloween pleb again, right? I can’t go back after this! I just can’t!”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Hux shrugged under the weight of his hands, “but I’m not making any promises.” he pushed the handsome, straight, bridge of his nose into the air in a showy attempt at looking derisive about it.

“I can live with that!” Ben laughed, finding himself stepping closer towards Hux, unable to pull himself away from the mischievous glimmer in Hux’s narrowed eyes.

His hands slid down his best friend’s arms, coming to rest on his elbows, and Hux breathed deeply through his nose. The rise of his chest was evident even through the thick layers of his coat. Ben reached up slowly and touched the dark fur framing Hux’s face tentatively. The ginger haired young man’s eyes slipped closed and he turned his face into Ben’s touch, only black trim and wool keeping his hand from resting upon Hux’s cheek.

His fingers closed around Hux’s arm gently and he felt as though a powerful magnet was pulling him forward by the chest. The other boy shivered faintly as he breathed in and Ben wanted nothing more than to pull him inside the warmth of his cloak and press him against himself. Hux stepped forward slightly, eyes fluttering open, both boys tracing unsure paths between one another's eyes and mouths. Ben didn’t know if Hux felt it too, but the air around them seemed staticky and warm despite the cold pressing in upon them.

Whatever was forming then, the moment was shattered suddenly by the high pitched wail of an air horn from Ben’s phone, signaling an incoming call from their mutual friend, Phasma. Hux jumped visibly and stepped back several paces, shoving his hood back and running his makeup blackened fingers through his hair. Ben almost dropped his phone as he fumbled to pull it from his pocket and silence the shrill sound which had fractured the spell falling over them.

“Phasma!” Ben barked into the phone as he pressed it to his face firmly; the cold glass practically stinging at the hot, blushing skin of his cheeks.

“Ben! Where the fuck are you!?” she shouted over the deafening roar of loud, thumping music which even Hux could even hear clearly from a few feet away.

“We're on our way!” he shouted back at her, holding his phone a good distance from his ear, grimacing at the noise level.

“Oh! Are you with your boyfriend already!?”

“Fuck off, Phasma!” Ben’s cheeks flushed even darker at the implication.

“I'm sucking his cock right now!” Hux leaned in close to shout into the phone.

“Hux!” Ben pulled his phone down sharply and shrugged at him violently; Hux and Phasma’s mutual laughter filling the air.

“Well, finish up and get over here! Thannison’s brother brought a huge keg but it's gonna be gone before you get here!” A raucous chant of “Phasma! Phasma! Phasma!” was beginning to swell in the background as she continued to shout louder. “I gotta go! That's my cue!” and she hung up abruptly, leaving the air feeling suddenly hollow and silent.

Hux was still laughing when Ben jammed his phone into his pocket and rubbed his ear, which was now ringing sharply.

“Fucking hell that was loud.” he grumbled, as Hux fished around in his pocket for a small, square little compact mirror.

“I suppose that means it'll be a good time?” Hux suggested, not truly sounding convinced as he turned Ben’s eyeliner onto himself and began to color in the underside of his nose with neat, steady little strokes.

Ben leaned back against Hux’s shiny silver BMW, folding his bare arms across his chest inside the comfortable warmth of his woolen armour, watching intently as Hux drew a small pointed line down his philtrum, pulling his flush, pink lips tightly downward as he did so. He flicked his clear, green eyes up at Ben with a smirk as he colored in the inner edge of his nostrils. Ben rolled his eyes at Hux’s amusement at using his eyeliner on his nose; but Ben got in a laugh of his own when Hux tickled himself with the fine tip pencil and caused himself to sneeze sharply.

“Gawd damn it!” Hux couldn't help but laugh as he had instinctively buried his face into his sleeve, thus smudging his own handwork.

“Here, let me.” Ben shook his head, chuckling, and took the pencil from Hux’s hand.

Sighing slightly at his own stupidity, Hux closed his eyes and tipped up his chin, presenting his makeup smudged nose to Ben’s assistance. Neither could keep their laughter down as Ben licked his thumb and rubbed the smudges from around Hux’s nose and upper lip. The outline of his intended work were still clear enough and Ben leaned his unsteady hand gently against Hux’s cheek as he filled the design back in.

Hux wiggled his nose in protest, pinching his eyes shut tighter as Ben drew around the ticklish inner corners of his nostrils - this time, able to repress his desire to sneeze. When Ben stepped back Hux checked his work in his little pocket mirror and nodded his approval. He then took the pencil up again himself, wiping it off on the inside of his coat before finishing off his look by lining his eyes thickly and winging them out in both corners. The effect was subtle, but perfect for the semi-formal look of Hux’s costume, and Ben nodded his own approval sharply when Hux did a little turn for his examination.

“Shall we then?” Hux inclined his head towards the car, indicating that it was time they head to Phasma’s house.

Behind them, a shrill wishing sound erupted from the park and fireworks exploded in the air above them. Hux turned to look but Ben couldn’t tear his eyes away from Hux as the glow from the fireworks cast their bright, colorful glow over his pale skin and threw sparkling lights into his upturned eyes.

“You know…” Ben started quietly, “You put so much time and effort into these costumes… it seems a shame not to show them off a little more. Don't you think?”

“Oh? What did you have in mind?”

“It's only eight o’clock…” he lifted his eyebrows in a mischievous sort of way, “there's still a good hour of prime trick-or-treating time left, and Phasma’s house is only like thirty minutes away on foot…” he suggested as he rocked back on his heels playfully.

“Ben… I'm 17,” Hux narrowed his eyes at him, “you're almost 17! And you're like… 6’1”! Nobody's gonna be very happy to open their door and see your sexy, intimidating, visage begging for free candy!” he pointed out, biting at his bottom lip and looking entirely unconvinced.

“So... that's a ‘no’ then?” Ben pouted, choosing to ignore the fact that Hux had used the word “sexy” to describe him.

“I didn't say no.” Hux turned quickly, striding off across the parking lot, “I was merely stating the facts!”

A huge, stupid grin spread across Ben’s face and he bounded the few steps it took to catch up with Hux’s long strides.


	3. Chapter 3

They stopped at the convenience store next to the park to get energy drinks and reusable tote bags for carrying candy. There was a slight breeze picking up as they stepped back outside, and the chill was evident. They had been standing in the park for less than an hour and the temperature already felt like it had dropped steadily. They both slammed their Rockstars back (“First one to finish buys lunch tomorrow!” Ben had smirked confidently, before losing soundly) then headed down the street feeling quite emboldened by a mixture of caffeine and nervous energy.

Ben was noticeably twitchy as they walked, his arms gesticulating wildly under the flaps of his cloak as he stomped along beside Hux with his loud, heavy steps. Ben was a little bit taller than him, but Hux’s legs were longer, and his good posture made it easy for them to keep pace with one another. It was unmistakable that Ben was rambling and Hux knew it was what he did when he was feeling nervous; he tried to ignore it, but he was no calmer himself, and Ben’s agitation only served to fuel his own. Hux didn't care to think about what was creating the tight knot in his stomach as they walked up the block towards Phasma’s house, he told himself he was just hungry from skipping dinner, but Hux rarely bought into his own lies.

Groups of noisy children streamed around them in the darkness up and down the block, running from house to house in their bright costumes and warm winter jackets, often with reflective tape or flashing key chains tied to their arms. Harried parents trailed along in the wake of their tiny ghosts and goblins, laden with excess bags of sweet loot and thermoses of hot drinks. Hux and Ben travelled from door to door quickly, groaning whenever they received candy corn and toffees and high-fiving little kids who liked their outfits. As they knocked on doors themselves they were greeted with eye rolls and endless parades of “don't you think you're a little old for this?”. A few people even made them sing stupid little songs as a punishment, and for the most part he and Ben did so grudgingly. Towards the end of a long block a tiny old lady giving out homemade candy apples asked them to sing as well, and Ben surprised both her and Hux by singing the first few verses of Frank Sinatra’s “September Song” (but with September switched out for October) and when he tried to stop she giggled like a much younger woman and insisted that he finish.

As they walked away, waving back at her, with their sweet prizes in hand, Hux felt strangely like he’d never be able to stop smiling, “I always forget that you have secret powers that you never show anybody.” he teased, breathlessly holding back the laughter that was welling up inside him.

Ben just shrugged, his cheeks blushing deeply, forever dismissive of his talents. Hux just shook his head and rolled his eyes at him dramatically, which caused Ben to grin in spite of himself and shoulder checked Hux in return.

“Well… I thought it was pretty beautiful…” Hux insisted with an amused but stubborn tone, as they munched on their caramel covered galas, paying no heed to the urban legends about apples full of razor blades.

Something about Ben performance had felt like a perfect finale to their escapade, so with their candy bags sufficiently heavy they walked together up the slowly emptying streets. Porch lights flicked out around them and the blocks grew darker and darker; strands of bright orange bulbs and pulsing strobe lights giving way to the quiet glow of streetlamps and the flickering of a few determined pumpkins. Few cars passed by - most people home for the night or out at parties - and things began to feel very still and cold and sufficiently ambient for a chilly Halloween night.

Hux looked over to Ben who was chewing his empty apple stick mindlessly and when he caught his eye Ben looked away quickly. There was a tingling in his empty hand that brushed up against the outside of his friends dark cloak and Hux stuffed it quickly into his pocket and pushed away his muddled thoughts.

Up ahead a pair of older children were walking slowly, blocking the sidewalk as it narrowed next to an unruly wall of shrubs. The couple were sauntering hand in hand, heavy bags of candy thrown over their shoulders, talking and laughing and oblivious to the way they were obstructing the path. The boy had dark skin and a lilting laugh, the shining armour of his knight costume reflecting the street lights as he swung him clasped hand back and forth with his companion. The girl with him was fair skinned and her long brown hair was pulled back into an high ponytail. She was dressed in a tight, colorful unitard and wrestling boots, her sparkly jacket had tassels hanging from the arms and emblazoned on the back in large purple letters were the words “I'm a hugger”.

Hux realized, just a moment after Ben apparently did, that it was Ben’s cousin Rey and her friend Finn (perhaps now boyfriend Finn?) He was about to pipe up and say hello but Ben had already pulled his arm back and sent the stick from his caramel apple spinning straight into the back of her head.

“Ouch!” she hissed, whirling around quickly, her colorful tassels fluttering. “Ben Solo, you asshole!” she shouted at him, after the moment it took for her to recognize him under his black hood and makeup.

“Where’s Luke?” Ben asked roughly, “I thought he was taking you trick-or-treating.” he marched up to them brazenly, scowling at Finn who quickly released his grip on Rey’s hand.

“I'm thirteen.” Rey narrowed her eyes at him, clearly unphased by Ben’s attempt to intimidate her, ‘I can take care of myself, thank you very much. Besides, it's the last year I'm allowed to go trick-or-treating, so I wanted to spend it with Finn!” she grabbed hold of his hand again assuredly, and Hux couldn't help smirking at the way Finn’s posture and stiff expression portrayed an amusing mix of embarrassment and terror.

Ben scowled more deeply and cut a path between them with his body before turning back sharply again and stomping up to Finn, crowding him mercilessly with his towering frame.

“I may not like my cousin all that much…” he growled at the already flustered boy, “but if you ever hurt her… I promise you, I will kick your ass.”

“Ben! Get out of here!” Rey stepped into his path, cuffing him on the shoulder, daring him to do or say anything further, “Why are you two even out here!? Shouldn't you be at Phasma’s? You can hear the noise from here!”

Hux turned at this and sure enough she was right, the low rumble of thumping base lines could be heard faintly on the autumn air even though they were still a few blocks away.

“Better hurry,” she went on, smirking as Ben turned away from her, “I hear Poe Dameron’s going to be there!” she cooed in the sort of mocking tone one used to denote lovers, “If you're lucky, maybe he’ll make out with you again?”

“Rey!” Ben turned back to her, cape swirling around him as he raising his hands in protest, “It was just a kiss! It was a dare! And it was three - fucking - years ago! Let it die already!”

“Never!” she laughed widely in an overly dramatic fashion, her hands on her hips in a victorious kind of manner, emphasized by the ruffling of her arm tassels and the glittering of her jacket.

Ben’s cheeks were a deep red mix of cold, rage, and embarrassment, and he gave up abruptly and stormed off down the street.

Hux shrugged and sighed, “Bye Rey. Bye Finn.” He waved nonchalantly back at them as he followed after Ben, who’s angry, thumping steps had already carried him halfway down the block ahead of him.

“Hey, Armitage!” Rey yelled, and he slowed, walking backward so as to listen to her, “I may not like you all that much… but if my cousin ever hurts you… I promise, I will kick his ass!”

 

\-----

 

What was she shouting now? Ben pulled his hood down further to drown out the sound of her voice. Rey had always been a nuisance; even his own parents like her better than him. After all, she wasn’t a fuck up. He was gritting his teeth as Hux came trotting up beside him, easily falling into his quickened pace; though, unlike with his own steps, Hux’s feet never fell with an obnoxious thud no matter how briskly he moved. He felt suddenly annoyed. Everything about Hux was perfect. So why was he, Ben Solo, such a disaster? Everybody in his life was constantly looking at him like he was a failure. But what was so wrong with not wanting to follow the path people wanted him to!? And if he really was as stupid and pittable as people made him believe, why did Hux put up with him? He could only sigh and shake his head in some kind of futile attempt to dislodge his negative thoughts.

As they rounded the corner of the block ahead they were just a few doors down from Phasma’s family home. It was a huge, square, modernist structure of concrete, diamond plate, and glass; unmistakably obnoxious amongst the other stately, colonial homes in their upscale neighbourhood. Even if they had never visited before, that alone would have been enough to make it stand out, but the veritable pumpkin patch that had enveloped the sweeping front yard and the drumming music filling the air were all the directions anyone could need.

As they drew nearer the sounds of laughter and shouting became more distinct and clear; however, instead of piquing his interest in joining the festivities, Ben felt like his heart was sinking into the pit of his stomach. He stopped so abruptly that it took Hux a few steps to realize that he’d even fallen behind.

“Ben?”

He stood still in the cold, his breath swirling round him in plooms as he gathered his thoughts. Hux walked back to him and stood before him, tipping his head down to look under the brim of Ben’s hood which had fallen low around his face.

“Hux…” Ben started, quietly, not knowing exactly what he wanted to say.

“What? Just tell me.” Hux said quietly, pulling at the front of his cloak. Ben met his eyes and he wondered for a moment just when Hux had first begun saying “just tell me” to him. He said it so often now that it felt like a secret code between them. After all these years Hux knew that Ben would keep everything locked up inside of himself unless he just demanded that he spit it out - and the simple three word request was usually all it took to unlock Ben’s mouth.

“I… I don’t think I want to go.” he confessed in a hushed, almost ashamed, tone as he reached through the folds of his cloak to grab at the edge of Hux’s pocket flap.

They stood there in cold silence, each pulling at one another's clothes as the soft clouds of their breath swirled round their faces. Hux stepped in closer and sighed quietly in a sort of soft agreement. The brims of their wide hoods brushed against one another's and closed out the bright glow of the street lights, their eyes adjusting slowly to the little bubble of darkness they’d created around one another. Ben’s heart was beating quickly but he couldn’t resist reaching out his other arm to wrap his large hands around Hux’s narrow waist. The magnetic feeling in his chest had returned with even greater force as he stared at Hux’s slightly parted lips, noticing how the warm little space inside their hoods was keeping their breath from showing in the dark night air.

“We don’t have to go anywhere…” Hux told him, in a voice that was barely a whisper inside their tiny dark cocoon.

“I just keep thinking…” he started slowly, “I’ve fucked everything up… my mom… she’s not…” he squeezed his eyes shut, so angry with himself, but Hux waited patiently for him to continue, “she’s not just gonna let this go.”

“I know…”

“I want to stay with you…” Ben confessed, his own voice small and flat, “but if this is it… I… don’t want to share-”

A huge, silence shattering, splash cut through the air suddenly - audible even over the background thrums of pulsing music - and Ben and Hux both startled and turned towards Phasma’s house. There were several people hollering from the small porch off the side of the third floor. They were holding pumpkins over their heads and lobbing them into the air so that they landed with a chorus of raucous splashes in the neighbouring house’s pool, or missed with a squelching thud against the ground.

“Thannison! You motherfucker!” Phasma’s voice could be heard, faintly, shouting above the general chaos from somewhere inside. 

“We have an unsanctioned departure from bay two!” a skinny young man in military camouflage shouted drunkenly, leaning dangerously far over the balcony railing, “Fire all cannons!” he declared, throwing his arms forward as his cohorts on the porch heaved yet more pumpkins into the night sky.

Neither Hux or Ben could stifle their laughter as Phasma’s towering form appeared in the light of the doorway and she threw Thannisson - the would-be general - over her shoulder, hauling him back into the house as he did his drunken best to fight his way loose.

“REMEMBER ME!” he shouted as his voice melted back into the fold of music and shouting.

Lights flicked on next door and Ben bit his lower lip. Hux scrunching up his nose, and they look at one another and rolled their eyes. “How long do you think it’ll take before the cops come break this up?” Ben wondered, chuckling slightly.

“In this neighbourhood,” Hux shrugged, “not very long.” Ben’s face lit up with laughter and Hux grinned widely. Chaos would be descending shortly.

Without a word Ben suddenly grabbed Hux’s hand tightly and pulled him after him, breaking into a run. He felt like they needed to escape. Quickly. Escape from the scene of this soon-to-be broken up party. Escape from their parents. Escape from the cold of the night. Just escape from the whole world in general… and he knew just where to go.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't easy to run with Ben clutching his hand, but Hux didn't want to let go. He somehow felt like they were fleeing the screen of a crime. His stomach fluttered wildly, causing involuntary laughter to build up inside of himself as they rounded corners and dashed into the empty streets as though they were being pursued by some unseen assailant.

“A lovely night for a jog.” Hux offered, when they began to slow down, his voice tumbling out along with his irrepressible laughter.

“Just… follow me.” Ben huffed, pulling his hood down further over his eyes, still clutching Hux’s hand in his own as they walked briskly.

They eventually crossed a road that lead them up onto a sidewalk that was edged for blocks in each direction by a high, blue metal fence; chic black and gold advertisements every few feet announced the arrival of a multi-million dollar gated community of some kind, but the “move in” date announced on the signs had already long since come and gone. Hux knew this area well; trapped behind the fencing was a beautiful forested area that had once housed an expansive park, walking trails, a tennis club, baseball fields, and an assortment of other community spaces. Its closure had been a huge controversy for months and Ben’s mother had been one of the main city council members opposing the development.

In the dark he could just barely make out the edges of flowerbeds and shrubs that had once been neatly cared for but now stood overgrown and lifeless. He and Ben had crossed paths here often as children and his heart turned in his chest a little at the thought of those memories; though most of them were wonderful, almost all of them were secret or stolen chances. He could still feel the same pangs of bitterness from the day his father had caught them talking together after his tennis lesson; he had dragged Hux away by his wrist and given him a stern talking to about “consorting with lower borns.”

He had made a point of consorting with that “lower born” boy ever since.

Ben leaned back against the fence and caught his breath, so Hux leaned next to him patiently. They dropped their bags to their feet and Hux looked up at the pitch dark sky as he waited for Ben to make his next move. He was in no hurry and it always amused him to watch Ben’s mind work. People often dismissed him as lazy or stupid, but Hux knew he was neither of those things; he was just pensive, stubborn, and didn't like to be forced into things. Unlike himself, who was very literal and deliberate, Ben was creative and flexible, and Hux thought that they were perfect together. As a team, of course.

Ben let out a long, heavy sigh that piqued at Hux’s heart miserably with it’s piteous sound. The feather cloaked boy rolled over onto his shoulder and leaned towards Hux, fidgeting with the edge of his cloak, unable to meet his gaze. He clearly wanted to say something, but didn't know how to say it. Hux leaned onto his own shoulder and reached out, pulling Ben's hands away from his cloak to force him to concentrate on his thoughts.

“Just tell me…” he breathed quietly.

All at once Ben reached out and pulled Hux against himself; he wrapped his wide, strong hands around his back and plunged his face into the fur of Hux’s hood. His cold, black smudged cheek sent a shock through Hux’s body as it pressed against his own. There was a desperation in the way Ben held him that made Hux’s heart beat fast from some unspoken fear that they both seemed to be feeling but couldn't communicate.

After a startled moment Hux encircled his own arms slowly around the back of Ben’s neck and pushing back his hood, exposing beautiful, softly tousled, dark hair to the golden glow from the streetlights. He could hear teeth grinding in frustration as Ben pressed his forehead aggressively against his temple, the other boys nose bridge sliding along the ridge of his cheekbone.

“She's gonna tell me to never see you again…” Ben’s voice came out choked and muffled. Hux squeezed his eyes shut tightly; something inside himself aching at the way that pained voice reached his ear: sad, frustrated, lonely. He dug his fingers possessively into Ben’s hair and pulled himself closer, nuzzling into the crook of Ben’s neck, black feathers tickling his ears and pushing his hood backwards.

“You don’t have to listen to her. I don’t have to listen to my father.” Hux offered weakly, his own voice wavering in a way he couldn’t abide, “It’s not as though they can lock us up…”

There was a long, agonizing silence as they stood there, wrapped in eachother’s arms. Ben’s breathing was unsteady and he shook with the labour of holding back tears, every hitch in his throat bringing Hux closer to crying himself.

“Armitage…” Hux’s eyes went wide and his shoulders tightened as the sounds of his first name, whispered from Ben’s lips, sent a shock coursing through his body. To Ben he was always “Hux” and hearing his given name uttered so softly felt incredibly foreign and intimate.

“Ben…” he could barely force the sounds from his mouth in response.

“Run away with me…” strong arms closed around him tighter still, as though afraid he would slip away somehow.

“For now, or forever?” he tried to laugh, but it only pushed his own tears closer to the surface.

“I wish it could be forever…” Ben buried his face into the short hair behind his ear; warm breath tingling on his exposed neck, “but i’ll settle for tonight.”

“Where will we go?”

Hux felt suddenly very light as Ben stepped back. Cold air rushed in around him and the tiny space between them felt as though it might as well have been a mile. His cheeks were tingling from the cold, but they felt white hot from the blush that had risen into them.

“Come with me…” Ben took his hand firmly in his own, and they picked up their bags and walked further down the length of the fence.

 

\-----

 

Hux’s gloved fingers were soft and warm against his bare skin and he sighed inwardly at the rare memories of watching those same slender fingers dancing away on the keys of the Steinway piano in the Hux family living room. It felt shocking to know that they fit so perfectly into his own. For a long time he had thought of his hands as annoyingly large, but the way they closed around Hux’s made him feel as though maybe they had always been meant for this.

His mind was racing as his silent, unquestioning, companion followed him along the fence line. Had he really just been holding him in his arms? Had he really been so brash as to press his nose against Hux’s sharp cheekbones as he had so often dreamed of doing, but always repressed the thought of? Had Hux really hugged him back?

He felt as though he could still feel gentle fingers tangled in his hair.

Ben slowed, the present snapping him back when he recognized the chunk of fence he was looking for, “We can get in through here.”

Hux stepped along side him and he pointed out the place in the fence where a rusted section had caused the bolts in the fence to fall away so that the panels could be pressed apart wide enough for a person to slip inside. He pushed it open roughly and gestured with a nod for Hux climb through and then he slipped in quietly after him.

Without electricity running to the park the lamps that lined the larger pathways stood dark and useless and the wide canopies of tree branches overhead - even barren of leaves - gave them even less moonlight to navigate by. Hux went to turn on his cell phone's flashlight but Ben told him to save his batteries, assuring him that he knew the way to go.

“Are we going some place in particular?” Hux asked, not usually one to question him, but clearly growing curious. Ben’s heart stumbled inside his rib cage when Hux’s hand reached for his own.

“Well…” he smirked a little, squeezing Hux’s hand lightly, “you’re in the domain of Kylo Ren, the Raven King now. “ Ben explained, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “We’re going to my nest.”

“Oh?” Hux laughed affectionately at his grandiose self-appointment, “Well if you’re the King of this land, Kylo Ren, then what does that make me?”

“Hmm… my Queen?” he suggested, feeling overconfident.

“Gawd no~” Hux recoiled, “I look terrible in a dress.”

“Oh, I doubt that.” Ben tried not to laugh, but failed immediately.

“Really!? Do you now!?” he received a punched in the shoulder for his insinuation.

“How about my General then?” he couldn’t keep a huge stupid grin from painting itself across his face as he watched Hux closely in the darkness.

“Hmm, now that I like the sound of.” Hux nodded sharply, “General Hux.” he tested the sound on his tongue, “Do I get to be a Grand Admiral if I defeat all of your enemies?”

“Well of course…” Ben nodded, “but it’ll be me who defeats all of your enemies, I assure you.”

“Ben, please.” Hux scoffed at him, “I’m student council treasurer, president of the debate club, I fenced for seven years, and I have a 4.0 grade point average. I’m pretty sure I can handle myself, thank you very much.” he pointed out with a deliberately pompous tone as he waved his hand in the air dismissively.

“Well aren’t you just the most talented kitty at the cat show.”

“Blue ribbon, baby.” Hux pulled his hood back up and mimed at grooming his faux cats ears.

They both laughed and Ben felt as though the weight that had fallen on him just a few minutes ago was melting away like snow in mid July. He knew tomorrow would bring about some fresh kind of hell he couldn’t yet guess about but right now, he and Hux were together, and despite the mess of emotions they were both feeling, they were still laugh together over stupid things like always. So as they stumbled along in the darkness the silence and sense of freedom made them both feel drunk with laughter and nostalgia; childhood stories and embarrassing memories pouring out of them both, keeping them in hysterics as they ambled through the darkness feeling like the only two people in the world.

The thick cover of trees around them slowly began to thin and their path ahead opened up into flat, overgrown fields. The sky looked huge and expansive as they stepped out of the woods and into the clear moonlight. Despite the bright haze crowding in from the city they could still see far more stars here than they were use to and both boys found themselves gazing up, transfixed on the darkness. The plumes of their warm breath, adrift in the cold night sky, were the only clouds to be seen.

When the starlight’s spell began to weaken after a few long moments Ben’s voice was startlingly loud in the silence, “This way, Hux.” he beckoned, and Hux allowed himself to be lead by the hand towards the small crowd of buildings that stood in the center of the grassy expanse.

“The baseball clubhouse?” Hux mused.

Ben lifted his finger to his lips in a shushing motion, “Our castle.” he grinned.


	5. Chapter 5

The baseball clubhouse was a low, u-shaped building surrounded by several smaller structures which housed all of the facilities necessitated by the four large baseball diamonds and 400 meter running track near by. The faded white building stood in a cluster of well-aged trees that created a shaded little grove between the towering backstops and bleachers of the four fields radiating out from it’s central hub. In their childhood’s, summer afternoons in the park were often presided over by a general din of crowd noise and cracking baseball bats. After his tennis lessons Hux would always cross the parking lot to stand at the back fence watching the games until his father or his nanny arrived. Brendol Hux was always sure to reminded his son that baseball was for “rabble” but that never stopped Hux from wish he could take part.

He was ten-years-old when a deeply tanned, gangly legged, young Ben Solo had come crashing into his life on a sweltering, August afternoon. Hux hadn’t even seen the baseball sailing in his direction, he was too fixated on the boy running towards him at full force, wondering if he’d slow down at all before colliding with the outfield fence. And he didn’t slow down, not one bit; he jumped straight at the fence, straight at Hux, stretching his gloved hand into the air and snatching what should have been an amazing home run ball (intent on smashing Hux in the face) right out of the air as he careened over the fence and onto Hux. Ben had scrambled to his feet, sweaty and grinning, ball in his mit, waving his arms over his head as the crowd erupted into cheers.

Hux had been winded from the hit, sprawled in the grass, mostly unharmed except for being incredibly stunned and feeling like an idiot for not moving. Squinting against the high sun Hux had looked up into the concerned face of that dark haired boy, as he held out a hand to help him up, and been incredibly taken aback. Ben had pulled him to his feet and to-this-day Hux could still remember how rough and dirty his hands had been. He was was strong, Hux was thin, and Ben pulled him up with far too much force, causing Hux to stumble right into him as he was yanked to his feet; Ben had caught him before he could fall backwards again and his hands felt overly large - even back then - as his fingers wrapped around Hux’s upper arm. He was brushing the grass from his stark, white tennis shorts when his heart had leapt in his chest at the sound of Ben’s laughter. The strange boy was marvelling at the size of a gash on his leg, evidently caused by an errant link on the fence; he seemed to think it was the funniest thing in the world as his blood quickly stained his uniform. None of Hux’s friends laughed like that: loud and clear and honest. Hux couldn’t manage to speak more than a stammered apology before Ben had hopped back over the fence and was trotting back towards his teammates. “No worries!” Ben had winked at him, tossing the ball back at Hux, who barely managed to catch it with fumbling hands.

The two boys had become classmates just a few weeks later and they easily remembered one another. That catch became the first event in a friendship that would last them both every single day of their lives right up to that very moment. Every talk, every fight, every skipped-class and late-night, every lie to their parents, every supportive gesture and confused glance; it had all started that day. Yet they had both changed so much since then. Hux felt like the boy he had been back then died along with his mother, and he had held Ben’s hand through a lot of tears as he struggled to kill off that affable boy inside of himself who had the loud, clear laugh and the confident, easy smile. The slow death of their childhood selves; this was something that had bonded them together indefinitely. Neither of them liked to talk about it outright, but they had said more than enough to one another with long silences through bitter tears over many sleepless nights just laying in bed with their cellphones on; like a lifeline to the only other person in the world who really, truly, cared about them.

“Hux?” the present snapped back with the whisper of Ben’s voice in the darkness.

“Hmm?”

“Are you drifting away?” he questioned, a hint of concern in his voice as he squeezed Hux’s hand.

“I’m sorry,” Hux smiled softly, bumping their shoulders together reassuringly, “I was just thinking. Nothing serious.”

Ben scrunched up his nose, sighing roughly, “You think too much.” he informed him, letting go of his hand and jogging ahead, his cape swirling round his legs as he rounded the edge of the clubhouse and disappeared.

“I know…” Hux whispered; a faint sigh escaping his lips.

He followed Ben around the side of the building, leaves swirling around his boots as a cold breeze began to pick up. He wrapped his arms around himself, tugging on his hood as he stepped into the courtyard at the centre of the three sided structure. Rows of polished cement picnic tables stood empty and silent in straight, crowded rows strewn with debris and decaying plant matter. With their run-down surroundings now devoid of cheerful, familial energy, they felt like somber gravestones to commemorate happier times long since passed.

Looking around, everything seemed so familiar, but the blanket of wear and disrepair that had settled on everything gave it a gloomy feeling of having been somehow removed from time. Something about this place was making Hux feel as though the joy was being drained from his body along with his warmth. Still the grim thought made him smirked despite himself, because this was just the kind of place Ben would build himself a “castle”. Ben lived to be haunted by the past; he ran from it faster than anyone he knew, but he also kept the thread of it tied around his ankle, always tieing the knot tighter rather than cutting it away.

“Ben?” Hux called out, turning round and realizing he’d lost sight of his friend, a shiver running through him from more than just the cold.

“Over here!” he heard a muffled call, turning to see Ben lean out from a nearby doorway.

Stepping from the relative brightness of the night, to the pitch black indoors, Hux’s eyes adjusted slowly. “Weren’t the doors locked?” he asked, as he looked down at the door handle and saw it undamaged.

“It was, be there was a window in the back that i was able to force open the first time I came around here.”

Hux heard the sharp hiss of a match sparking to life and Ben’s figure was illuminated by a weak orange glow. The outlines of shapes inside the room began to come into focus as Ben moved around the space with easy familiarity, lighting little clusters of candles that were perched on the window ledges and what seemed like an altar built from a vaulting box.

“Come inside.” Ben’s voice had an almost nervous excitement in it as he pulled Hux fully into the room, closing the door behind him and shutting out the cold breeze. “Welcome to the nest of the Raven King.”

Hux rubbed his eyes, trying to force them into focus in the soft glow of the candles. He gazed around slowly, taking in as much detail as he could in the darkness. It looked to be a row of offices, a long hallway ran down the front of the building to the left of where he’d stepped in; all of the large windows that would have brightened the space were boarded up, and a row of doors running down the opposite side looked almost ominous, as though they were beckoning to be opened. Ben pulled him away from the hall and into the main room, a large open space that must have been a reception area or common room. Though, empty it most certainly was not.

Hux stepped in further, realizing that the room was deep and spanned the width of the building - which truly wasn’t very large - but it felt cavernous smothered in the pressing darkness. At first it seemed as though the room was filled with a mishmash of items, stored in haste as the park was close, but slowly the deliberateness of it all began to come into focus. “Where did you get all this stuff?” Hux marveled, wide eyed, turning back to Ben who looked away shyly; clearly quite proud of himself.

“There were keys in one of the offices, i just went through all the other buildings finding stuff.”

It really was a raven’s nest, a collection of foraged objects, little things of value from here and there, brought together to create a warm, comfortable, safe space. Hundreds of lengths of triangular bunting were strung from the panels of the drop ceiling, and Hux couldn’t resist raising up his hand to brush his fingers through them as he wandered around; it gave a feeling as though the room had been overgrown with colorful vines that thrived only in the dim light of flickering candles. Comfortable looking upholstered chairs (which Hux could only guess came from the offices) had been dragged around an empty stack of soda crates which held up a table top fashioned from a thick old sign advertising the winter farmers market. The surface was strewn with magazines, books, and several empty soda cans. It was clear that Ben had been spending time here long before now; this place had been a secret, and he was sharing it with Hux.

Ben followed behind him quietly as he turned round the room taking in the mural-like collage of posters and stickers and magazine pages that plastered the walls. There were huge, heavy looking boxes from the concession - salt, paper towels, napkins, ketchup - all stacked up to create an almost throne-like structure around the room’s centerpiece: a huge, plush, high jump mat from the the track and field storage locker. Hux didn’t know how much effort it must have taken to drag it in here and stuff it through the doorway, but he knew if Ben wanted something bad enough, he didn’t stop until he made it happen. The mat was at least two feet thick and was piled high with green and white tartan cushions that Hux recognized from the lounge of the tennis club. He couldn’t hold back his laughter when he thought about how his father had commented once about how comfortable the lounge chairs there were.

“Can I?” Hux smiled, still laughing, gesturing towards the fortress of commandeered pillows.

“Of course!” Ben nodded emphatically, “Oh! Wait!” he took Hux’s bag from his hand and tossed their sacks of candy on to the floor, “Come here.” a mischievous grin spread across his lips and he maneuvered Hux towards the end of the enormous, makeshift bed.

“What?” Hux narrowed his eyes at him as Ben’s hands easily encircled his waist and he turned Hux towards himself, backing him up to the edge of the mat.

“Jump. Jump as high as you can.”

“W-wha~ oh!” he threw his head back laughing as he realized what Ben had in mind; his hood slid back off his head and Hux placed his hands on those wide, strong, feather laden shoulders to steady himself.

“Ready?” Ben smiled, he leaned his face into Hux’s and grazed the side of his nose against Hux’s own encouragingly, “One… two… three!”

 

\-----

 

Hux jumped up on three, pushing down on his shoulders and getting as much height as he could; simultaneously, Ben held him tightly just above his narrow hips, lifting his light, toned frame effortlessly, and pushed him upwards and back through the air. A surprise, laughing shout filled the small room as Hux went far higher than he’d expected, the back of his head brushing through swaths of colorful banners before he flopped down into the, excessively soft, embrace of pillows with a soft thunk. Hux rolled over, a mess with laughter, trying to sit up but struggling to right himself in the unstable mess of unsturdy surfaces.

“Look out!” Ben gave little warning and backed himself off a few steps before running forward and throwing himself into the air, his cloak billowing behind himself during his short, twisting flight.

“Ben!” Hux protested, pulling himself into a ball, to avoid being crushed. The impact of Ben’s large, thick body threw Hux momentarily back into the air and sent cushions tumbling to the floor in every direction. When they were both assessed to be unscathed, their laughter made it even harder for them to try to get back up; their body weight was pooling into the centre of the plush mat, creating a sinkhole of softness from which escaping was difficult and which suppressing their laughter about was even more difficult still.

They gave up their attempts to sit up properly, chests heaving - short of breath from laughing - and rolled in towards one another, giving in to the will of gravity. The backs of their hands brushed and Hux pulled his gloves off roughly before entwining his warm, bare fingers in Ben’s own.

“These blankets,” Hux rubbed his face into the soft wool coverlets strewn over the vinyl mats surface, “they’re from the rental hall, right?”

“Yeah, that’s where I got all the candles too.” Ben smirked, pleased with his mountain of treasures.

“Do you remember… that new years eve, a few years ago?” Hux turned his eyes away from Ben’s, stroking at the familiar fabric as his cheeks blushed visibly even in the weak candle light.

Ben chuckled, amused by Hux’s flustered tone, “How could I forget?”

Though he said that, he did wish he could forget a part of it: the part where his father had called him up just hours before the new years fireworks show and said that he wouldn’t be making it home in time; just like he hadn’t made it in time for Christmas that year, or for either of the two before that. He’d refused to go with his mother and instead snuck out of his window - without his coat or shoes - and ran over to Hux’s house in only his socks. Hux found him shivering in his bed with Millicent curled in his arms, having crawled in through his own window. Although Hux had snapped at him mercilessly for being so impulsive, he’d gathered Ben up in one of his father’s coats and his fancy sheep skin boots, and taken him to the fireworks himself. The attendants at the parks rental hall would only let them rent one blanket for sitting out in the field by the lakeshore for the show, but Ben could tell that Hux was still cold despite his warm jacket and scarf, so he’d distracted the attendants by setting a garbage can on fire and snuck in, stealing far more blankets than they could ever need. Hux had yelled at him for the second time that night but they spent the show under a barren oak tree, wrapped in a pile of ill-gotten blankets and each other’s arms.

Ben had returned all of the blankets of course, but Hux had never returned his heart.

In the present, a sudden shiver ran down his spine. He hadn’t meant to think that; to think that Hux had his heart. It wasn’t what he meant, surely.

Hux’s eyes had slipped closed and he was breathing softly, the faintest hint of a smile across his mouth. Ben’s hands seemed to move without his consent, reaching to caressing his friends smooth, defined cheekbones as his thumb brushed along the bow of his soft, pink lips. Hux’s eyes fluttered open, but he didn’t shy away, his eyes were clear and steady, pupils wide and intoxicating in the darkness.

“Y-your makeup is smudged.” Ben justified himself, moving to rub his thumb along Hux’s nose.

“You should see yourself!” Hux laughed, reaching up to rub the pad of his own thumb around his eyes. “We should probably clean it off or we’ll just end up covered in smudges.”

Ben nodded quickly and rolled himself unceremoniously off the edge of the mat and onto the floor gracelessly, where he got to his feet and pulled Hux up into his arms. The narrow shouldered red-head didn’t step away from him when he hesitated to release him from his grasp; it felt almost impossible to imagine himself letting go. Hux leaned into Ben’s chest, his hands ruffling idly through the feathers on his cape, “Ben…” Hux’s voice was soft and close and he tipped his chin towards him. Ben felt inexorably drawn to those thick, smooth lips and he leaned in towards him in turn. With a quick, bold movement Hux rubbed the blackened underside of his nose across Ben’s face, streaking him with eyeliner.

“You…” Ben bit his lower lip, inhaling deeply, “are such a bastard.”

“Those are, indeed, the facts my friend.” Hux leaned back in his arms, chuckling.

“Gawd I hate you! AH!” Ben pulled Hux in close with his strong arms and proceeded to rub his black smudge cheeks against Hux’s face indignantly.

“No! No! Stop it!” Hux protested, trying his best to push himself from Ben’s grasp, though it was a fight they both knew he could never win. The smaller boy lifted his feet from the ground, forcing Ben to hold all of his weight and they both fell back into the cloying embrace of blankets and cushions.

The sparkling sound of their laughter filled every corner of their tiny kingdom and Ben pushed himself up on his elbows as best he could; his cloak and wide hood surrounding them in blackness as he lay across Hux’s body, his stomach in knots and his head light with giddiness. Everything in the whole world was suddenly perfect. If only nothing would ever change. His heart begged the world to stop, for time to hold them forever in this moment. He wanted to stare forever into Hux’s steely green eyes, touch the soft feathers of his red hair, feel his soft, pale skin under his fingers. He never wanted to be apart.

Ben’s heart skipped violently in his chest as Hux’s beautiful, thin hands reached inside his hood and entwined themselves into his hair, gently pulling him downward.

If anyone knew the worst of Hux, it was him. He could be callous and cold, judgmental and demanding; he held everybody to the same unreasonably high standards as he held himself, and so he respected even less people than he actually liked. But he was also generous with his time, patient with people who tried their best, and willing to give anybody a chance to redeem themselves or start over. He didn’t make assumptions about people, he only believed what he knew to be true, and even if you wronged him, he forgave anybody who asked for forgiveness.

In the few brief moments before they kissed for the first time Ben’s mind was racing through every tiny detail he knew about Armitage Hux.

And he couldn’t think of a single reason to stop.


	6. Chapter 6

Ben Solo was a mess of a human being. It was true that in some ways he was dealt a bad hand, but in others, he was just as much a “spoiled rich boy” as people had always claimed Hux to be. But Hux didn’t care; there was something amazing lying just beneath the layers of Ben’s imperfections. Did it drive him crazy when Ben started fights on his account, or when he became stubborn and unreasonable over something that was purely emotional and had no basis in logic or facts? Of course. But that boy’s huge, strong, ungainly body housed a heart so fragile and guilt ridden that he could scarcely count the number of tears he’d brushed away. He always caught himself yelling, nagging, and lecturing Ben, but all he really wanted was to be a mirror; a mirror that could show him how perfect his flaws where and valuable his weaknesses could be if only he’d stop running and turn around.

But his words didn’t seem to be enough.

Maybe he had been using his mouth in the wrong way.

Ben felt as though he were melting against him when their lips touched. Every firm muscle in his body slackened, and the full weight of his frame pressed down upon Hux as they sighed into one another. This chaste kiss had been waiting on their lips for so long. Weeks? Months? Years? It wasn’t as though he’d never kissed before, but it seemed suddenly as though he’d never truly felt a kiss before now. It wasn’t passionate, just the press of Ben’s lips to his own, but it was theirs and it was real and it was the first.

There was a sudden and intense feeling of loss when Ben pushed away from him abruptly, “I- I’m sorry.” uncertain words tumbled out of him as he struggled to his feet. He turned away from Hux so quickly that the fluttering of his cloak sent the light of the candle flames dancing around them.

“W-what?” Hux sat up, blinking against his confusion.

“I’m sorry!” Ben declared again, his head falling as he scrunched up his shoulders, “I shouldn't have done that to you! I’m sorry!” Ben threw open the outside door and rushed out into the cold night, slamming it shut behind him.

Hux slid off the edge of Ben’s makeshift bed and onto the hard floor. He could feel his eyes scanning the room, but he wasn’t looking for something concrete, he was looking for an answer.

Did he just ruin everything?

 

\-----

 

“Where are you going?” his brain was screaming at him. His heart was beating so quickly behind his ribs that he felt as though he needed to start running just to keep up with it. But he didn’t run; he was stuck in place, just a few paces from the door. The wind had picked up intensely and it blew his hood back and pushed his cloak away from him so that the freezing night air stung at his bare arms like needles. Leaves swirled and danced around him chaotically, trapped in the swirling winds that banked off the inside of the courtyard. He wished they were hard, sharp, ruthless; could cut at him and hurt him like he wanted to hurt himself. He didn’t want to lose Hux, couldn’t bare the thought of pushing him away, but what if what he wanted was too selfish? If it couldn’t be? He’d been so strong for so long, lied to himself so much, berated himself constantly; he wasn’t in love with Hux. He was his brother, his confidant, the only person he trusted; he couldn’t mess up Hux’s life by tangling it up with his own so intimately, he would never forgive himself.

Warm tears burned at the corners of his makeup blackened eyes and his knees felt weak and useless. He should never have brought Hux here, they should have just gone to the party and gotten in trouble with the cops, he should have been sent home, been yelled at by his mom… she’d tell him never to see Hux again… He should have listen to her for once…

Only, she believed it was Hux who would taint him in some way, but Ben knew it was the other way around. He was always going to hold Hux back if kept leaning on him.

But still...

“Ben Solo, you fucking asshole, I fucking hate you!” Hux’s voice sliced through the angry howl of the wind at his ears, warm fingers clamping tightly around his icy wrist.

“Hux~” Ben yanked his arm free, backing away from him, the wind swirling around them both, angrily banging at the open doorway; papers and loose objects within fluttering and rolling around desperately.

“Come inside right now!”

He didn’t know what to say; he knew his expression was desperate and pathetic, but he couldn’t make words come out. He hated himself so much.

“Fucking get in here, or I’m never speaking to you again!”

His feet moved before he agreed to it.

He was so fucking weak.

When he got close enough, Hux pulled him by the front of his shirt and slammed the door closed, shutting out the wind so it could do little more that howl mournfully around the edges of the doorframe. Everything within settled and fell quiet, all of the candles near the doorway had been snuffed out and Hux’s figure was heavy with shadows, his shoulders heaving as if he’d just run a mile.

“H-Hux…”

“Don’t. Say. A fucking. Word.” Hux tore at the buttons of his coat angrily, fumbling with them in his evident anger. A low, frustrated growl rose in his throat as he ripped it off and threw it down the hallway violently. “What the fuck, Ben!” Hux stepped into his space aggressively and shoved him, “You don’t just get to run away this time! That’s so fucking unfair!”

“Hux, please -” he tried to speak, though he didn’t know why; he didn’t have the slightest idea what to say.

“NO!” his voice was as thick with the onset of tears as it was with anger, “Please fucking nothing!” he shoved him again, more weakly, “You wanna run away from you parents, fine! Wanna run away from the future they want for you, fine! Run away from everyone and everything you want, Ben Solo! But you don’t get to run away from me! You… you don’t just get to…” the words were crumbling as he gestured at the space between them, “you don’t just get to run away from this…” Hux’s hands fell clenched in fists at his side, as though he wished he could throw a punch at him, but his head hung low and he gritted his teeth against his tears.

Hux hated crying.

“I… I can’t… I’m sick of running.” Hux’s tear-filled voice was like a knife in his heart.

Ben didn’t want to run away from him, truly he didn’t… but it was the only thing he knew how to do. Was this okay? Could he be this selfish? Hux was standing here in front of him, crying and telling him not to run away...

Clasps be damned; Ben hauled his heavy cloak over his head and threw it off, he didn’t want the protection of it when he closed his arms around Hux tightly then. The contact of their bodies shattered their tension and Hux clung to the back of his shirt as they both began to cry.

“I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry…” Ben sobbed against Hux’s neck, burying his nose into the soft, familiar scent of his silky red hair.

“Shut up.” Hux dug his fingers into his back painfully, “Don’t apologize you fuck!”

“I-I’m sorry…” he couldn’t help but laugh though his tears, his shoulders shaking.

“Aggg!” Hux pressed his fist into Ben’s side just below his ribs and twisted it into him. He just hugged Hux tighter. “W-why are you so… fucking sure…” Hux stumbled through his breathless tears, “so convinced that no one will ever…”

Hux cried harder; clung to his shirt tighter.

“Y-you know I’m an idiot!” Ben rubbed his cheek against Hux’s temple apologetically, strands of smooth, ginger hair clinging to his tears as he ran his fingers through it gently.

“Yes! You are, you know! You really are!” Hux’s admonishments were muffled as he pressed his face into Ben’s chest.

“I don’t… I don’t know what I was thinking…” He really was an idiot. He wished he could scrub away all the doubt and disbelieve in his heart. It made no sense; after all, this was Hux, the only person in his life who had never betrayed him. So why was he so scared?

“Y-you know I’d never…” Hux sniffled, rubbing his face, unable to lift his head, “I’d never try to hurt you, Ben. Never…” he pulled away from their embrace, tucking his arms to his chest as though he were desperate to hold himself back.

“I know, Hux! Please… please don’t cry…” he sniffled himself, trying to regain his composure, to find the right way to say the right thing to take back this wound he had cut into Hux’s heart just moments after he’d offered it to him so freely. He’d never regretted anything more in his life.

He took Hux’s face in both of his hands, those beautiful green-blue eyes shut tightly against his own fears and hurt. Ben rubbed his thumbs gently across Hux’s lashes - heavy with clinging tears - and he tipped his trembling face towards his own. They were both shaking, their faces wet from crying and their breathing coming in hitches as Ben placed his lips gently over Hux’s own. The brief moment before the trembling boy in his hands reciprocated was pure agony, but when he sighed into his arms - his mouth sweet with longing and salty with tears - Ben pulled him in as tightly as he dared.

As their kiss deepened, their bodies relaxing into eachother’s embrace, the tension in Ben’s heart drained away as though a floodgate had been opened inside of him.

It took a long time for their breathing to settle and the tears to stop before they eventually stood back from one another. They were helpless to do anything but laugh at one another when they saw the sight of their cheeks so heavily streaked with eyeliner.

“Well… at least it’ll come off more easily now.” Hux smirked and rolled his eyes as he dug into his pocket and pulled out a packet of tissues. Ben sunk to his knees feeling heavy and exhausted and Hux followed suit. His lips were still quivering a little as he reached out and began to rub away the makeup from Ben’s face. Gentle hands pushed his hair back as he worked, stopping every now and again to lick his thumb and rub at a particularly stubborn spot on Ben’s skin.

His heart slowly began to feel steady again as he watched Hux work; his hands felt good on his face and they smirked every time their eyes met, both still feeling more than a little embarrassed. As they sat together in the dim light, still encumbered with emotions and questions and worries, Ben sighed deeply and let his eyes trace the curves of Hux’s face. In a strange way it felt as though he was seeing him for the first time. He noted every freckle and tiny detail, admired the fullness of his lips and the lines of his nose; the black smudges around his eyes made his irises seem even brighter and more glowing than usual and his heart began to flutter again.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” he whispered his thought aloud. Hux’s hand hesitated a moment on his cheek before carrying on, his front teeth biting into his lower lip as though in protest of the very thought.

“You- you’re not so hard on the eyes yourself…” Hux retorted softly, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a smile so near to shy that Ben shivered with adoration, his cheeks reddening under Hux’s touch.

“I think that will have to do.” the treatment finally stopped and Hux held the tissues up to Ben, “If you wouldn’t mind?”

Ben knew his hands were shaking a little when he began to clean the black smudges from Hux’s face and his friend closes his eyes obligingly, knowing it would make things easier for him. Ben took his time, genuinely afraid to rub at that flawless pale skin too hard or to leave a mark on it somehow.

“Hux…?” Ben questioned, after a long while.

“Mmm?”

“You’re really… not scared?”

“Of what?” he inquired, sitting patiently, his eyes still closed.

“Of… what… might happen?” his hands slowed, finished with their task but not yet wanting to let go.

“Might happen if what?”

“If…” the words won't come out.

Hux’s hands slid gently up his arms, steady hands closed over the tops of his own. Slowly, deliberately, Hux lowered them from his face, those penetrating eyes never leaving his own as he turned Ben’s palms up in his lap and he curled their hands together.

“If we’re more than just friends?”

The silence was suddenly absolute. He couldn’t hear a thing but the sound of his blood in his ears. The thudding of his heartbeat slowed and caught in his chest. Time ceased to exist. This was what he was wishing for only minutes ago. The world had stopped.

For him there was only Hux’s bright, entrancing eyes and the soft feel of his skin. Nothing else mattered.

But he wanted so much more.


End file.
